This post may contain affiliate links, and I may earn compensation when you click on the links at no additional cost to you. No one can fix your world for you. Everything you need to be happy and fulfilled is already inside you. You simply need to understand how to use it. Then you can …
The following article was written on February 2, 2021 by Katherine Esty, Ph.D., author of “Eightysomethings: A Practical Guide to Letting Go, Aging Well, and Finding Unexpected Happiness”. This article is reprinted by permission. Image by © James Thew from AdobeStock My January began with mourning. My beloved brother-in-law died in late December at the …
I recently had an opportunity to interview Barry Shore, author of The JOY of LIVING: How to Slay Stress and Be Happy. Written at the height of the coronavirus pandemic, Barry offers a unique perspective on how people can find JOY despite stress in life that will eventually hurt them physically and emotionally if they are not careful.
Barry is recovering from a rare disease that left him totally paralyzed. He said we are in the midst of a pandemic. He said that the first 3 letters and the last two letters of “pandemic” spell “panic” which most people are feeling right now. They are worried about losing their jobs, losing their home, their kids “going crazy”, rising crime, and the country falling apart. When people are feeling stressful, people cannot live in joy, happiness, peace and love. Barry emphasized throughout the interview that it is possible to find JOY despite stress in life.
Barry said that S.T.R.E.S.S. can be either interpreted as STOMACH TURNING REALITY, ENABLING SELF-SABOTAGE or, STOMACH TURNING REALITY, ENABLING SELF-SUCCESS. While people may lose their jobs, homes, and succumb to worries about a rising crime rate, Barry also said that how they choose to respond to a given situation will determine their next steps in life summed up in six words – CHOICE NOT CHANCE DETERMINES YOUR DESTINY. How people choose, or not choose to respond, to stress will make the difference whether they are successful in dealing with any stressors they have. Barry said a person’s mental attitude despite their stressors will make a difference on whether they are setting a good example for themselves and others on how to face their problems and challenges successfully.
Barry told the story of his high school teacher who taught him that EXAMPLE IS NOT THE MAIN THING IN INFLUENCING OTHERS, IT’S THE ONLY THING. He also suggested that setting an example to others in how to find JOY despite stress in life goes a long way to help others face the challenges and problems in their lives.
Barry defined S.E.L.F. T.A.L.K. as recognizing that You are a SOUL EXPERIENCING LIFE FULLY, TEACHING ALWAYS LOVE AND KINDNESS. Barry gave the example of people preparing to put on an oxygen mask in an airplane when there’s a sudden change in pressure. Instead of putting a mask on a child first, parents are encouraged to put the mask on themselves first and then on their child. This way, when people are calm and aware themselves, then they can calmly help someone else.
“Shift happens” when people are LIVING IN JOY, which stands for the JOURNEY OF YOU instead of believing the other phrase that is used when things go wrong in life (the “f” is removed). Therefore, when people live in joy, they are able to journey to a place where self-talk, calm and positive aspects of stress are possible. Above all, who doesn’t want to live a happier, healthier and wealthier life when they follow his advice to live in joy despite any challenges and troubles people face in their lives.
Barry pointed out the three fundamentals in life, including:
Throughout the book, Barry uses the word SMILE to mean SEEING MIRACLES IN LIFE EVERYDAY. Barry shared that although he was still unable to walk despite his illness, he remained positive and pleasant. He asked himself:
Barry emphasized that when people have all of the above blessings, that it is a miracle. He added that everyday a million people didn’t get up. Because they passed away. People, Barry believes, have an obligation to live exuberantly no matter what is going on in their lives.
Barry shared that he learned two very important lessons. One was from his 8-year-old niece, who defined S.M.I.L.E. as SEEING MIRACLES IN EVERY DAY LIFE. The second lesson Barry learned was from his 8thr grade teacher, who told him “the only math you need to master is that which enables you to count your blessings”. Barry said that when you are able to count your blessings, you will begin to see miracles hiding in plain sight.
Barry believes, yes, optimism can be taught. However, he added that in order to be taught optimism, you need a teacher and someone willing to be taught; it doesn’t work one without the other. People have to be willing to be taught to be more open, happier and optimistic. It helps to ask questions, but learning optimism doesn’t work with someone who is merely content with raising their hands and being mediocre. People who are open to learning to be optimistic while exuding optimism will be more likely to learn to be optimistic.
Barry talked about how people learning English as a second language are examples of how optimism can be learned. While they may not understand English, they are open to learning it. People learning English as a second language can give and receive optimistically as they learn English. Barry said he had seen it personally over a period of days and weeks, as people begin to give and receive openness to learning English.
Barry defined L.A.W. as LOVE AND WISDOM. He shared that when law is offered, then people can be taught wisdom, as long as people are cooperating with JOY.
Breathing should be from the diaphragm (tummy breathing), not shallow. People can learn how to breath from their diaphragm Barry said that it takes 2 minutes through the nose through the tummy through the mouth 4 times for 28-32 seconds. It helps a person become calmer and happier, adding it works. It should be done 2 times a day, in the morning and afternoon; by the 12th day, people should be doing it consciously.
Barry said ABCs stand for ABUNDANCE, BOUNTIFUL, CHANNELING OF GOOD. A person should say their ABCs when they wake up in the morning. When they say their ABCS first thing in the morning, they begin to understand their channel of abundance and it shifts their perspective. It will eventually become a habit if they say it for 11-21 days in a row. Once people commit to that, they will begin to experience physiological and psychological changes in their outlook; they will begin to feel physically better.
Barry said sleep is a miracle cure. He recommended that at least five minutes before going to sleep, people should turn all devices off, and stop reading. They should begin breathing deeply and repeat their ABCs and just be. People should begin to touch the POSITIVE, PLEASANT ESSENCE of themselves for five minutes or more before going to sleep. Barry emphasized that sleep is a miracle in itself.
Barry suggested these five tips:
We are dedicated toward success for ourselves, our families and our communities. Consequently, it is possible to have mental and physical well-being. We currently have a joy deficient in this country. But it is possible to create a joy surplus without printing trillions of dollars to enjoy things that don’t really produce joy. Instead, everyone should DOG POOP.
The benefits of living a JOY filled life is that you will be Happier, Healthier and Wealthier (HHW). Otherwise, you may end up living a life of stress and self-sabotage as a result of someone else’s stress. In addition, living in JOY requires a student who wants to learn and a teacher who can teach them how to live in JOY. Subsequently, living in JOY is ultimately your choice, no one else’s.
For further information on Barry’s recommendations how to find JOY despite stress in life, click on the link at the beginning of this blog. You will be glad you did.
Known as the “Ambassador of JOY,” Barry Shore is a mental health activist, philanthropist, multi-patent holding entrepreneur, speaker, author, podcaster, and former quadriplegic. After a rare disease paralyzed Shore from the neck down, he created the JOY of LIVING Institute™ (a platform that teaches people to live in joy, no matter the situation), Keep Smiling (a movement that has reached multiple celebrities and distributed millions of “Keep Smiling” cards worldwide), and Changebowl (a philanthropic platform featured in Oprah Magazine.) Barry’s podcast, The JOY of LIVING, is heard globally by hundreds of thousands and has over two million downloads.
“The Joy of Living: How to Slay Stress and Be Happy” by Barry Shore is available on Amazon and Apple Books. For more information, check out Barry’s website and follow him on Facebook, or Instagram.
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