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Why “7 Keys to Navigating a Crisis” Is Unique

7 Keys to Navigating a Crisis: A Practical Guide to Emotionally Dealing with Pandemics & Other Disasters  was written at the height of the pandemic in 2020 by Elia Gourgouris, Ph.D. (Dr. Elia) and Konstantinos Apostolopoulos (Coach Kon). It was designed to help the reader become a navigator through crises such as the coronavirus pandemic. Dr. Elia and Coach Kon  introduced the book as follows:

Most self-help books have wonderful ideas and inspiring concepts. But what usually happens after we read a book like that? If we only read it, highlight a few things, and put it away on a shelf when we’re finished, then very little will change. If that’s the kind of book you’re looking for, this isn’t it. (emphasis mine)

…You can learn all the things that contribute to being prepared like self-care, flexibility, staying positive, and being kind in the midst of a crisis, but if you don’t apply them in your life, not much will change.

…This book was written specifically as a practical guide with reader engagement in mind. (emphasis mine)

What The Authors Hope to Accomplish With This Book

Dr. Elia and Coach Kon offer  “specific points to ponder, questions to consider and answer, and calls to action” at the conclusion of the introduction and each chapter. Dr. Elia wrote a Personal Health Assessment that gauges the person’s physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. It gives the reader the opportunity to lower their score. That person now has a greater opportunity for self-improvement if their score is low.  Because a crisis affects a person holistically, the reader eventually becomes a navigator.

What Are The Seven Keys?

The seven keys are self-care, awareness, flexibility, preparation, initiative, positive attitude, and kindness.  Learning and retaining the seven keys will go a long way in helping the reader navigate a crisis.

The 7 Keys

Self-Care

You really can’t take care of someone else without taking care of  yourself first. The authors offer these basic suggestions from the World Health Organization (WHO) for self-care that we have been hearing for a year:

• “Wash your hands with soap and water for 20 seconds.
• Avoid touching your face, eyes, mouth and nose.
• Avoid contact with people who are vulnerable. And if you can, wear a mask”. (emphasis mine)
• Cover your with the bend of your elbow.
• Disinfect surfaces you regularly use.
• If you feel unwell, stay at home and call your healthcare provider. (emphasis mine)
• Only share information from trusted sources.”

Why Self-Care is So Important

Some people follow these suggestions, while others do not. Still others don’t take these precautions until they either get the virus themselves, or someone they love does.  The authors recommend placing a checkmark near the tips mentioned above in order to focus on these suggestions, and follow them during the pandemic.

Some people believe that following these precautions means they lost their “freedom to live their lives”. The authors suggest that these are stressors that are exacerbated by not being able to go to work, the grocery store, the gym, to church, or to dine in at restaurants. People now have a lot of time on their hands and are restless.

Self-Care and Seniors

Seniors over 60 have lived their lives taking care of others instead of themselves. Dr. Elia found that if people of all ages are struggling with over commitment, they need to learn to say “no” and not feel guilty about it. Learning to say “no” to someone or something means you are saying “yes” to your self-care. Practicing self-care leads to healing. When people of all ages overcommit to anything, their stress level increases.  Dr. Elia and  Coach Kon found when people are stressed,  their health, relationships and productivity suffer. The stress level of seniors or anyone else increases when they are overwhelmed.

Assessing Self-Care for Readers

Dr. Elia prepared a Self-Care of Healthcare guide at the end of the chapter for front line workers including doctors and nurses. However, it is helpful for everyone. Dr. Elia encourages everyone of all ages to focus on their physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well being.  It is clear that taking regular breaks and going to bed at the same time every night is beneficial for a senior’s holistic health. But the opportunity to focus on what is within our control and making a daily list of what we are grateful for is also helpful for everyone to maintain self-care.

Awareness

People of all ages are more likely to ask friends, siblings, parents, a coach, a mentor, or a teacher about what they should do instead of listening to their intuition, Dr. Elia and Coach Kon point out.  Seniors have been raised to ask other people for their opinions before making a major life decision. Instead, people should learn to listen to their innermost voice, the authors recommend. This “voice”, depending on the individual,  is “Spirit”, or God. It is a “small” voice, or intuition, that advises people what they should do in a given situation. If that voice is not listened to or heeded, then the person could end up in trouble, Dr. Elia and Coach Kon wrote. The voice will not let you down (emphasis mine). Seniors who have listened to a “voice” throughout their lives would agree.

Why is Awareness So Important?

Traumatic events are characterized by:

• an individual who was unprepared for an event;
• an unexpected event;
• someone who is unprepared to prevent an event.

It is not so much the traumatic events alone that are upsetting, but how an individual’s emotional experience is as a result of the event, Dr. Elia and Coach Kon write. Traumatic events are defined in the book as events “that are both powerful and upsetting that intrude into one’s daily life”.
The Coronavirus is noted in the book as an example of a traumatic event.  Financial distress or ruin due to unexpected employment are  other examples of traumatic events pointed out in the book

Examples of psychological trauma as outlined in the book include:

• Cognitive – nightmares, mood swings, confusion, loss of memory and inability to concentrate;
• Behavioral –  social isolation and withdrawal,  a person’s lack of interest in activities they used to enjoy;
• Physical – being easily startled, insomnia, always looking out for warnings of possible danger;
• Psychological – depression, “survivor’s guilt”,  anger, anxiety, disbelief.

Awareness and Grief

Change has a beginning, middle and end,  Dr. Elia and Coach Kon wrote. The “bigger and more unexpected the change, the deeper the grief”, the authors added.  Grief is not just about losing a loved one to death.  It is also losing a way of life that people have become accustomed to.  Life as we knew it will never be back to normal, but there will be a “new normal” way of life.  People of all ages grieve in stages ranging from denial to acceptance.

The book defines the stages of grief as follows:

•  Disbelief and Denial –  “extreme shock”;
•  Anger through Rage and Resentment – shock turns into the need to blame and criticize “others”,
•  Emotional Bargaining, Beginning in Fear and Ending in Depression –  anger turns inward;
• Acceptance – beginning to accept a “new normal” and realize life “as we knew it” may be gone forever–“…the healthier stage for us to reach.”

Awareness and Faith

Human emotions begin in either faith or fear, Dr. Elia and Coach Kon point out. The book includes a national survey that says “75% of Americans are stressed, anxious and angry”. Depression, anger, anxiety, discouragement, loneliness, and mistrust are characteristics of fear, the authors shared. People of all ages who feel fearful has “skyrocketed” since the beginning of the pandemic, the authors added.

Characteristics of faith include hope, optimism, security, trust, confidence, and peace, the authors wrote. People of all ages tend to worry.   Worrying “is actually having a lack of faith”, the authors emphasize. It is natural for seniors to worry about what is going to happen with all the changes. Seniors have learned through life experience that worry accomplishes nothing.

Readers should become aware of their negative thoughts, Dr. Elia and Coach Kon write. Seniors can begin to focus on thinking positive thoughts after spending an hour worrying about what may happen. It is helpful for people to become aware of negative thoughts and then begin to control them, the authors suggest. When people begin to think negative thoughts, they can choose to think positive and faith-filled thoughts instead. People of all ages should pray or meditate in the midst of a crisis, the authors wrote. During a crisis, people of all ages have a choice what they will choose – faith or fear, Dr. Elia and Coach Kon added. Faith is the only way people can go from surviving to thriving in life, the authors share. The reader is encouraged to “…choose faith which brings us inner peace and reduces our worry and stress”, the authors conclude.

Flexibility

Seniors have learned the value of flexibility throughout their lives. The coronavirus pandemic has taught us that we need to be flexible.  It is the only way we can all cope with all the changes since March 2020, including wearing masks and social distancing. Instead of limiting our  “freedom”, they help us not get the virus. “It’s important to acknowledge these reactions and understand why we’re experiencing them”,  the authors wrote

Seniors and Flexibility

When people begin to understand why they feel a particular way,  they can process these emotions and move on to a “better place”, Dr. Elia and Coach Kon wrote. Seniors aged 65 and over have gone through many changes that were unplanned and sudden. As a result, they have learned to be resilient in times of crisis. People of all ages who accept change despite its challenges are more likely to be flexible and adaptable. Seniors realize it is better to “go with the flow”, and are confident when the next crisis occurs, they will be able to handle whatever happens.

Why Flexibility is Important

We have all heard stories of people hoarding toilet paper, paper towels, hand sanitizer and disinfectant wipes. The shelves for these items were empty for months. Retail store employees have said that once the shelves are stocked, these items disappear quickly, and the shelves become empty again. As of this writing, the shelves are stocked with these basic needs.

No one has gotten through the coronavirus pandemic untouched and everyone is facing its challenges, Dr. Elia and Coach Kon emphasize.  Meal delivery instead of dining out, kids learning remotely, and employees working from home are just some of the changes designed to help us get through the pandemic safely. Seniors have rediscovered favorite books, movies, board games, and, most of all, each other.

Four Responses to Unexpected and Rapid Changes.

There are four normal responses to unexpected and rapid change that people tend to cope with in response to a crisis, the writers point out, including:

Victim Mode

Victim mode is a disempowering feeling of “poor me” and “why is this happening to me?”. People  ask themselves “Why can’t things stay the way they are?”  Seniors (and everyone else) gradually become more isolated and fail to ask for help.

Critic Mode

Critic mode is when people of all ages tend to “question and challenge whether any change is appropriate or necessary”. Blaming others is not, nor ever has been, an effective way to reduce stress. Everyone needs to be part of the solution instead of part of the problem.

Bystander Mode

Bystander mode is being unwilling to get involved. People of all ages want to either  “…wait to see how this impacts others first, or we simply refuse to act until we don’t have a choice”. When people deny the reality of COVID-19, their “… refusal to actively participate and be part of the solution” is harmful to their “physical, emotional, and mental health.”

Navigator Mode

Navigator Mode is when people make the effort to reduce the negative effects of the crisis for themselves and those around them.  They learn to find opportunities to “make things better, find ways to be useful and supportive to others, and form nurturing relationships with others affected by the crisis”. Although people can be in Navigator Mode and revert to one of the other stages, they will be unable to go forward if they get  stuck in the first three modes.

Comparison of the Oak and Palm Trees and Flexibility

The authors compare the Oak and Palm Trees. The Oak tree is strong because it is solid and unmovable, but can be uprooted or broken by heavy rain and high winds following a storm. The Palm tree leans and sways to the direction of the wind, realizing it is better to go with the wind’s force instead of against it. The book points out “the pressure of resisting the wind, the heavy rain nourishes and deepens the roots of the Palm, preparing it to weather the next storm”.

The chapter ends with the saying, “Improvise, adapt, and overcome!”

Preparation

People of all ages need to be prepared for whatever life brings. This is true whether planning a vacation, a move or a lifestyle change. We can all agree that it helps to prepare for a crisis like the COVID-19 pandemic. We will never have peace of mind if all we do in life is always operate in crisis-management mode instead of “taking a proactive approach to our lives”, Dr. Elia and Coach Kon point out.

Why Preparation is Helpful for Seniors

Seniors have learned the value of preparation throughout their lives.  They have tried to stay out of debt by watching their budget. Seniors lived healthy lifestyles by watching what they eat and exercising. Bracing for impact before an accident can be compared to living through stress and anxiety due to the coronavirus pandemic and the resulting changes, the authors point out. Many “things in life can be prevented if we take the time to address them”, Dr. Elia and Coach Kon emphasize. It is easier to prevent a crisis ahead of time than to manage a crisis once it occurs, the authors emphasized. Preventing a crisis makes every part of our lives easier, whether it’s “financially, physically, emotionally, and mentally”, the authors point out.

Because COVID-19 is unlike anything anyone has seen before, Dr. Elia and Coach Kon introduced PRE-Traumatic Stress, aka Pre-TS, defined as “the tension, anxiety, and stress we experience when we anticipate a traumatic event, when we are bracing for the impact it will have on us and our lives”, the authors wrote. Pre-TS can be so powerful that people feel paralyzed, full of despair, and confused in their thinking before the dreaded event has occurred, Dr. Elia and Coach Kon wrote. Seniors have experienced this at various times in their lives, and have happily found, more often than not, that the event came and went uneventfully.

How Seniors Can Be Prepared Emotionally

Taking care of yourself is the best way to prepare for a crisis. Everyone reacts differently to a crisis. It is “natural to feel stress, anxiety, grief and worry before, during, and after a disaster”, Dr. Elia and Coach Kon  wrote, offering  the following ways to prepare for a crisis:

Connecting With Others

It is more important than ever to have access to a support system during a crisis. Reaching out to others through phone calls, texts, and social media is essential, while continuing to remain at home and practicing social distancing. People need to be real and allow themselves to be vulnerable and honest with themselves and each other, because it makes a huge difference on how they get through a crisis.

Taking Breaks

People have more time on their hands than ever.  As a result, they can  learn to slow down instead of being constantly “on the go”. People can learn to “eat together, play together, and work together side by side as families and loved ones”, instead of being anxious and constantly under stress. They should become aware of their energy levels and take a mental health and physical breaks daily.

Avoiding Too Much Exposure to the News

COVID-19 was the primary news story as the pandemic began in March 2020. Constant news about the pandemic and how many people it was killing made people very nervous. Despite the availability of vaccines, the pandemic continues to be a top story on the news. People continue to be stressful as a result. While it’s good to stay informed about the pandemic, hearing about it 24/7 is not good for anyone’s physical, emotional, and mental health.

Having Enjoyable Moments

It is helpful to fill our time with enjoyable activities such as reading a good book, going for a walk, playing board games and/or cards, or getting exercise. The coronavirus has been a “blessing in disguise”. Families have started to talk to each other about the meaning of life and their hopes for the future

Seeking Help When Needed

People can suffer from depression and anxiety when crises and/or unforeseen events continue into the foreseeable future. Eventually, life may return to a “new normal” instead of the life we knew prior to the pandemic.  It is recommended people reach out to a trusted friend, doctor, clergyman or counselor when they begin to feel troubled  and stressed as the pandemic continues.

Preparing to Navigate a Crisis

People of all ages should make a plan to get through a crisis instead of “hoping” or “feeling lucky” that everything will someday return to normal.  The plan can include a drawing, a simple list or an outline that shows how everyone is affected by the pandemic. The information will make a difference on how a family evaluates things, identifies details on possible problems, and make appropriate choices on how to move forward. Preparing to navigate a crisis will make a significant difference on overcoming any problems and minimizing missteps that arise.

How Seniors Can Prepare to “Shelter in Place”

Seniors are nervous about venturing out due to the indefinite nature of the pandemic. Dr. Elia and Coach Kon offer the following ways they can continue to face possible challenges and lessen anxiety:

Supplies

People can think about what they need and how to obtain them. Can they get the supplies from a delivery service, a neighbor, a family member or a friend? Seniors can get healthy food because they may not be able to exercise as much.

Cash

People should have access to an ATM machine. A family should have similar to one or two paychecks available in case of an emergency.

Financial Concerns

Money concerns has a huge impact on mental health.  It becomes worse when people need to stay home indefinitely. Someone who is self-employed can refer to the local Chamber of Commerce for details on available options.

Treatment for Existing Conditions

Doctors cancelled “non-essential” appointments unrelated to COVID-19. People were hesitant to make appointments for pre-existing conditions because they feared their requests for appointments would be turned down. Everyone should make appointments with their health care provider via phone, text, or online. A senior’s doctor and/or nurse should make alternative arrangements to continue treating pre-existing conditions.

Taking Medications for Existing Conditions

Auto-refill prescriptions online or by phone are offered today by many pharmacies.  People can continue to get their prescriptions by asking someone to pick it up for them at the pharmacy. People of all ages should consider the option of getting prescriptions delivered to their home address.

If Seniors Care for Other People

The pandemic may make you anxious about making sure people you care for continue to get the care they need despite the pandemic. Extra planning should be used when providing care or supporting someone who doesn’t live with someone. Special accommodations have been put in place by companies and state governments to help caregivers continue caring for their loved ones as the pandemic continues.

The Need to Prepare

The coronavirus has affected everyone. It is very important that everyone make preparations to get through the pandemic.

Initiative

It is one thing to plan to take action, but it is another to actually implement it. It is more than putting plans on paper, it is actually DOING it. People of all ages can agree that we feel better about taking an action, Dr. Elia and Coach Kon wrote. People of all ages feel empowered that they solved the problem instead of just talking about it, the authors continued. Seniors are confident about their ability to problem solve through a crisis instead of  doing it “later”.

People lead through example. Some people “just do it”, as the Nike ad says. Others need more time, more encouragement and more support to take action”, Dr. Elia and Coach Kon found. As the pandemic continues, people can help each other face their fears by helping each other’s hesitation and inaction, the authors added.

How Seniors Can Begin to Take the Initiative

People can take small steps to take charge of a crisis as they encourage others to do so, Dr. Elia and Coach Kon wrote, including:

• Setting Goals –  if you want to finish a project, read a book, watch a film, or learn something online, it gives you a sense of purpose and control once the goal is achieved;
• Keeping your mind active – through activities such as reading, writing, playing games, doing crossword puzzles, or drawing and painting.  The trick is to find something “that works for you”;
• Taking time to relax and focus on the present (emphasis mine) – this helps with worries about the future and difficult emotions. Taking time to relax improves wellbeing.
• Going outdoors (if possible) at least once a day – spending “time in green spaces can benefit both our mental and physical wellbeing”. If people are unable to get outside, people should open the windows to let fresh air in, sitting and getting a nice view outdoors, and getting out in a garden if possible.

How Our Mental Health and Well Being Can Be Helped

People have been gathering virtually in large and small groups alike to share their experiences and connect in very original ways, the authors found, including:

• Reaching out to loved ones – stay in touch with loves ones via phone, text, video calls or social media;
• Talking about our concerns – talk to a mental health professional or join a support group, share how we’re feeling and how we’re coping;
• Helping and supporting others- check in with family members, offer to help seniors with grocery shopping, and thanking those who are on “the front lines”;
• Looking after our physical wellbeing – stop unhealthy habits by eating well-balanced meals, getting exercise, drinking water and getting outside;
• Getting a good night’s sleep – maintain regular sleeping habits, creating a restful environment to avoid feeling anxious or worried;
• Trying to manage difficult feelings – not always thinking about the coronavirus, but focusing on what can be controlled;
• Managing media and information consumption – try to limit time watching news reports on pandemic, checking the news at specific times;
• Getting the facts – get factual information that will help determine individual’s risk of getting COVID-19k; a good example is the Centers of Disease Control and Prevention website;
• Thinking about a new daily routine – knowing there will be disruption in our normal routine, we should adapt and create new routines, writing a weekly and/or daily plan.

How Seniors Can Help Themselves and Each Other

Now that various vaccines have become available, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Being a navigator during a crisis does not mean we will always have a positive outlook, Dr. Elia and Coach Kon shared. We need to look at parts of a plan that are not working, the authors emphasized.

We have all seen how people are beginning to experience “COVID-19 fatigue”.  If “following safety guidelines will keep us and our loved ones safe, then it’s a small price to pay”, the authors point out.  We may not be able to see each other in person. However, we can still talk to each via phone or video chat. Any “pain we feel now is temporary and things WILL get better” (emphasis mineJ), the authors remind us.

How Seniors Can Learn From Their Mistakes

Seniors have learned from their mistakes throughout their lives. The challenges of living through a pandemic include making mistakes. The only way people learn is from making mistakes. What differentiates people who are successful in getting through a crisis are the following, the authors found:

1. They take personal responsibility by owning their mistakes, and don’t blame others or circumstances they are unable to control;
2. Seniors learn from their mistakes and don’t repeat it, but moving forward;
3. They let their mistakes go, and move on, by forgiving themselves instead of ruminating about their mistake; they are free, and actually do better because they learned from their past mistakes.

Positive Attitude

The Difference Between Optimism and Pessimism

The chapter begins with the authors asking the reader whether they an optimist or pessimist. Do they tend to see the glass half full or half empty during a crisis? It makes all the difference on how well they are able to navigate a crisis. Do they wake up saying “Good morning, Lord!” or “Good Lord, it’s morning!”

Whatever takes place during the day will occur based on their “unique lens”, Dr. Elia and Coach Kon caution. If you are an optimist and you get a flat tire, you are grateful that the flat happened as the car was slowing down on the exit ramp instead of on the freeway. The pessimist is concerned that he will be late for work and may be fired, asking himself, “Why do these things always happen to me?”

How Seniors Can Develop a Positive Attitude During the Pandemic

The coronavirus pandemic can help define us as pessimist or an optimist in a way nothing else has before.  We can either see the difficulty of wearing masks, getting take out only, or practicing social distancing, or we can take the opportunity to communicate with colleagues, family members or fellow learners through Zoom and social media.  And, we can also take advantage of the opportunity to get to know family members and appreciate what we have. We can feel proud of ourselves for taking the opportunity to take a walk or learn a new skill. A crisis like the pandemic can present the opportunity to develop a positive attitude if a senior  has been pessimistic throughout their lives. Seniors can take this opportunity to reflect on some questions, including, according to the authors:

• “What am I grateful for?
• Who loves me?
• What’s great about my family?”

Reflecting on the above questions will help someone navigate a crisis, Dr. Elia and Coach Kon recommend. A pessimist is more likely to think thoughts such as “What’s wrong with my life…my parents…my kids…my spouse?”, the authors found.  One’s thoughts, whether  positive or negative, will  determine how their life turns out.

How The Pandemic Can Be a Blessing in Disguise

Instead of dreading the coronavirus and being fearful of it, it is helpful to look at it as a blessing in disguise. It is more helpful thinking about how we can grow from this experience, instead of the worst that can happen. Perhaps thinking about who we call the “unsung heroes” – the bus drivers, the hairstylists, the waiters and waitresses, those who check out and bag our groceries, can make us grateful for what we have. We can never again take for granted the doctors and nurses who have risked their lives to care for those who became infected with the virus.

Instead of being upset that our gyms are closed and we have been unable to go to festivals, go to the zoo and see our favorite sports teams for a year, we can reflect that the virus is really “an ally in our evolution”, as written by a loved one of the authors.  Our children continue to learn at home and therefore learn how to develop a positive attitude because they are better able to cope with changes than their parents and grandparents were. We can confidently say to ourselves that “We got this!”

Why It is Necessary Seniors Avoid Comparisons to Each Other

Comparing ourselves to each other is a result of insecurity, Dr. Elia and Coach Kon point out. It makes us feel the need to prove ourselves. Sadly, this more often than not doesn’t end well for us. We will never be exactly like anyone else, whether “financially, spiritually, emotionally, physically, or something else”, the authors emphasize. There will always be someone who is “thinner, richer, more prepared or smarter than we are…”, Dr. Elia and Coach Kon added. There is always someone less attractive, educated, prepared and financially successful than we are, the authors point out. Comparisons to each other result from a lack of a sense of self-worth; a lack of self-esteem eventually leads to over-eating, more shopping than necessary and abuse of drugs and alcohol, the authors point out.

Why Comparisons Hurt Instead of Help

When people compare themselves to others, there are two likely outcomes, the authors point out. These are:

1. Deciding “I’m better than you are”; as a result, we are guilty of arrogance and pride, or
2. Concluding to ourselves “You’re better than I am”, which makes us feel we’re not good enough.

Comparisons Within Ourselves

How can seniors develop a positive attitude by avoiding the temptation to compare themselves to each other? We can do the best we can with what we have. Instead of competing with each other in an attempt to make ourselves look good, we can work with others to help each other and those with less than we have, the authors suggest. While we struggle by ourselves, when we give of ourselves, through our resources, our strength, our kindness and compassion, we all benefit and overcome whatever challenges we face, Dr. Elia and Coach Kon tell us.

During a crisis, when we contribute whatever we have, large or small, we “…get to the other side of adversity”, the authors remind us. We can only become stronger as individuals, as individual families, and as a community, the authors continue. Instead of working against each other, we are able to get through this crisis together by working with each other.  As a result, we will become kinder to ourselves and each other than ever.

Kindness

As the pandemic continues, it helps everyone when we are kind to each other. We must remember we are all in this together. Dr. Elia and Coach Kon wrote:

“When it comes to kindness, everyone wins! So, let’s make it a daily habit!

How Does Kindness Help Both Giver and Receiver?

We have all seen on television people in New York City applauding health care workers as they left their jobs for the day. Health care workers said goodbye to a patient upon discharge from the hospital. They have also comforted a dying patient because family members were not allowed to say goodbye and “I love you”.

How Does Kindness Help Seniors?

Giving has a positive effect on our mood and our health in general, Dr. Elia and Coach Kon found. Dr. Kelli Harding said that kindness  “…helps the immune system, blood pressure, it helps people to live longer and better…”., the authors wrote. Kindness helps people live longer than any medication ever could. It can even help people of all ages get through the pandemic! Giving of yourself, whether through time, talent or treasure, benefits the giver. Seniors who give don’t think “what’s in it for me?”, but instead “how can I help someone else get through their own personal challenges?”

Seniors generally have a limited income. People who don’t have much money themselves are more likely to give to others.  People who know what it is like to be anxious about something or have been poor during their lifetime have more empathy about others, even if they don’t know them personally, Dr. Elia and Coach Kon found.  Author Randy McNeely wrote in his book, The Kindness Givers’ Formula, that it is “a natural consequence of both giving and receiving genuine kindness is feelings of gratitude that fill our hearts and the natural lightening of our own burdens and personal challenges…”, the authors shared.

Unkindness and COVID-19

Unfortunately we have also seen images of people being unkind to each other. This includes, as mentioned earlier, hoarding basic products everyone needs. People panicked because they were afraid they would be unable to meet their needs, without thinking of the needs of others.

We have also heard of people partying during Spring Break without social distancing or wearing masks, the authors remind us in the book. Once they return home, they become “super spreaders”,  who can spread the virus to their loved ones, especially seniors, when they return home. “Covididiots” are people who feel so entitled that they ignore health guidelines and jeopardize their own safety and that of others, the authors wrote.  This negative, selfish behavior only serves to promote positive actions instead of strictly weakening the kindness of so many people, Dr. Elia and Coach Kon found. Despite vaccinations now available to all, this selfish behavior continues one year after the pandemic started.  Unfortunately, not everyone plans on getting the vaccine for various reasons. And so the pandemic continues.

How Can Seniors Seek and Acknowledge the Reactions of Others?

Seniors have had to reduce human contact from loved ones. We have all seen images of seniors  having to wave at their friends and family through a window instead of giving them a hug. Hugs, high fives, a handshake and other forms of  human connection became dangerous to a senior’s health, Dr. Elia and Coach Kon wrote.

But the book points out ways to help others share their concerns, including:

1. Asking others affected by the pandemic to share any concerns or opinions, as you share your own feelings and concerns as well;
2. Supporting and responding to the concerns of others, suggesting ideas for overcoming challenges and working with them to find solutions;
3. Being patient, realizing that people need time to make changes in the midst of a crisis that has disrupted routines and forced us to make changes, while also learning to accept others’ concerns, worries and behaviors.

We all need the kindness of  family, friends and strangers alike to get through the pandemic.

For Further Information

Click on the link to Dr. Elia and Coach Kon’s book above to learn more about how to navigate a crisis. You will be glad you did.

About the Authors

From Dr. Elia’s Website…

 

Dr. Elia Gourgouris is the author of the #1 Amazon best-selling book 7 Paths to Lasting Happiness and 7 Keys to Navigating a Crisis: A Practical Guide to Emotionally Dealing with Pandemics & Other Disasters. He is the President of The Happiness Center and Founding Partner at The Global Institute of Thought Leadership.

 

His motto “Happiness is a choice!” has led him to becoming a leading authority in Happiness and Corporate Wellness, and a high in demand Speaker at conferences and Universities around the world.

Over the last 25 years, he has helped thousands of people achieve happiness and fulfillment, both in their professional and personal relationships through his coaching and keynotes.

 

“The difference between who you are and
who you want to be, is what you do!”