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Introduction
I recently interviewed Francine Falk-Allen, author of No Spring Chicken: Stories and Advice from a Wild Handicapper on Aging and Disability. Although published in 2021, it is still very timely for adults who have physical challenges ranging from sore hips to a sore back, whether from a young age or fairly recently. Falk-Allen offers several ideas on how people can continue to live life to the fullest, despite their physical limitations.
Falk-Allen offers several alternatives to walking long distances for seniors with disabilities who like to travel. However, she suggests avoiding traveling to places that require walking long distances if you have a walking difficulty, unless you use a cane, scooter, or wheelchair. She also offers 10 healthy living tips for seniors. Although those tips are addressed in the book, they will be presented here as well.
The interview covered six basic topics that are designed to help the reader understand what it can be like to live as a “Wild Handicapper” who continues to live life to the fullest despite physical and emotional challenges.
Taking Care of Your Mental AND Physical Health
Falk-Allen noted that new issues are much harder to deal with than issues you’ve had all your life. Well-meaning friends and relatives are discouraged from telling the disabled person “Look on the bright side, you get to watch more movies”. Instead, Falk-Allen suggests that people tell their loved one “I’m sorry this happened, and I will do what I can, but I can’t be here every day”. She said that a grieving process is needed to try to adapt to a new impairment.
Falk-Allen said that disabilities can lead to depression, substance abuse or just choosing to stay in bed all day instead of moving. She stressed that movement is good physically and emotionally. People can choose to do simple exercises like taking a walk or chair yoga. If they have access to a warm pool, then they can try water exercises.
Counseling
Psychotherapy or counseling helps a person remain mentally healthy despite their physical disability. Behavioral activation therapy is just as effective if psychotherapy or counseling is unaffordable. This involves engaging in activities that have been appealing in the past, including volunteering, reading or spending time with friends. In addition, Falk-Allen stressed that being social with others helps a person’s mental attitude and keeps them feeling optimistic about life.
Pain Management
Falk-Allen stressed that opioids are not recommended except for terminal illness. She recommends Advil, along with other anti-inflammatory medications should be taken instead, and temporarily if possible. If any pain medications or anti-inflammatories are taken, then blood tests should be taken for any adverse effects on their liver, stomach, and kidney function. She also stressed that regular opioid use leads to addiction. Instead of opioids, Falk-Allen recommends physical therapy should be an option for any injuries instead of taking opioids. However, it can be difficult to get older people to begin physical therapy. However, relatives should encourage their elderly loved ones to do it anyway. Once they start feeling better, older people should be encouraged to continue, especially as it relates to weight loss; Falk-Allen noted that all joints are painful if people are obese.
For example, If people have back pain, relatives should find out exactly what it is. Falk-Allen said it could come from narrowing of spinal canal due to a limp, disc wedging, and arthritis. Some solutions Falk-Allen suggested included yoga, warm water exercises, and core strengthening. Losing weight can alleviate back pain. Supplements may be slightly more expensive than exercise.
Diet
Falk-Allen suggested cutting out simple carbs including white foods, such as white bread and white rice. Exceptions include dairy and cauliflower. She also suggests smaller portions for meals such as “appetizer size” or “small plates”. As mentioned earlier, water exercises are a good option, if you have access to a pool. Like all exercises, water exercises help relieve pain and psychological issues. Falk-Allen recommends walking back and forth in the pool; other water exercises are noted in the book.
How Meditation Alleviates Pain
She also recommended meditation, which helps alleviate pain by retraining the mind to experience pain differently. While meditation does not make the pain go away, whatever is hurting doesn’t seem to hurt as much; it is not as debilitating as it would be. It allows people to function better despite any pain they experience; the pain is not as intolerable as it was before. Falk-Allen suggests that people do meditation about five to 15 minutes daily, depending on their schedule. Meditation clears the head and allows people to watch their thoughts go by without judging them, regardless of how much time is spent meditating.
Opioid Use
Opioids have negative side effects, including depression. Over the counter medication like Advil and Tylenol makes you feel better. While it may feel that challenges will last forever, it will get better eventually. Falk-Allen suggested that people follow doctor’s orders and try different options if something doesn’t work. Despite challenges that seem horrible, life will get better and a new normal will help your life get back on track.
10 Healthy Living Tips for Seniors
The following is from the book: They are practical and work.
- “Don’t smoke tobacco“.
- “Get at least two hours a week of exercise“. If you are unable to get out of bed or are confined to a wheelchair, then you may be able to do yoga sitting in a chair or lying in bed.
- “Eat a balanced diet.” Falk-Allen recommends the Mediterranean diet which consists of vegetables, whole grains, legumes, fruits, nuts, and limiting simple carbs (as mentioned above). She also recommends fish or chicken and occasional meat. Falk-Allen also encourages people to take advantage of the occasional treat. And, most importantly, “diet is easier to control if you cook at home”.
- “Brush your teeth at least three times a day“. Falk-Allen cited a 2019 study which found that brushing less than 3 times a day allows bacteria to build up in your gums, eventually seeping into your bloodstream. As a result, there is a much higher risk of heart disease. She also stresses flossing after brushing.
- “Try to avoid stress, find ways to relax, and socialize“. Falk-Allen offers several ways for seniors to relax that are relatively easy if they are unable to sit still and meditate. Examples include listening to classical music, watching a comedy, walking around in nature and/or their neighborhood, or spending time with friends. She wrote a “good social network is key to low stress and longevity”.
- “Get six to eight hours of sleep (on average) per night“. Falk-Allen recommends that people may want to see their doctor if they sleep less than that per night. She cited a 2019 study which said that if people take short naps of five minutes to an hour once or twice a week, they are likely to reduce their chances of heart disease by around 50%.
- “Get all the vaccinations recommended for your age and immune system”.
- “Wash your hands“. Falk-Allen said that contaminated surfaces – “especially surfaces that have been touched many times by several people – “often lead to illness, particularly colds and flu”.
- “Get a full checkup once every year”, or at least every two years”. Falk-Allen recommends that people go in more than once a year for any health issues or scares including high blood pressure, cancer, other heart disease, stroke, diabetes, and cognitive problems.
- “Go easy on alcohol“. Falk-Allen recommends, on average, no more than one drink per day for women and, for men, one and a half to two maximum daily for men. In addition to alcoholism and its dangers, heavy alcohol use can lead to obesity and cancer, and, “even one drink per day, for women, has a strong correlation with breast cancer”
Advocating for Yourself and Others With a Disability
First and foremost, Falk-Allen recommends learning how to manage all your doctors, including specialists. Seniors should be organized with their questions about their ailments and what medications they are taking for which condition(s). Doctors have limited time with heavy caseloads with perhaps too many patients; doctors should be treated like humans and given consideration despite any issues, concerns and/or frustrations patients may have.
Taking Family Members to Appointments
Falk-Allen advised that seniors should take their adult children with them to an appointment; older patients may either resent their children being there or be grateful that their children are there to help them ask the right questions about their medications. Questions should include possible side effects such as tremors or barely being able to eat. Doctors should also coordinate each medication to prevent any possible side effects not mentioned above..
Tracking Medical Information
Patients should also track their medical information on each body part. This way they can review with their doctor and/or family member the last time their ears, heart, arthritis, etc. was checked. While it is not for everyone, it is helpful to be knowledgeable about each body part instead of expecting the doctor to track every condition the person has, which medication they took, any follow up appointments for the specific body part, etc.
Disabled Parking Spaces
Falk-Allen told the story of a caregiver who went into the store while the disabled person she was caring for waited in the car. This was inappropriate; disabled parking spaces are for people who have physical disabilities who have difficulty moving and need to park close, not for their caregivers (or anyone else who is able bodied) to get in and out of the store quickly.
Broken sidewalks are a particular problem for people who are disabled. Falk-Allen said that broken sidewalks that are torn up make it difficult for disabled people to get to where they need to go. She advised that when people see a broken sidewalk or a Disabled Parking spot that is too far from a venue (such as a church, grocery store, clinic or pharmacy), they should contact the local agency, which should be contacted several times if the problem is not resolved on a timely basis. Falk-Allen suggested that if a community has an accessibility committee, they should be made aware of a broken sidewalk as well. Overall, there should be more disabled parking in communities; otherwise, seniors will be unable to go to doctor’s offices or any of the venues mentioned above.
Treating Handicapped People Appropriately
Falk-Allen strongly suggested that when able-bodied people speak to disabled people in wheelchairs, they squat or get a chair in order to maintain eye contact while speaking to them. This way, it makes the wheelchair bound person feel equal to the person speaking with them instead of inferior; this is especially important if the conversation is 20 minutes or longer. In addition, Falk-Allen advised if an able-bodied person sees someone on crutches, a cane, or a walker, offer to get them a chair and then sit with them. This is much better than ignoring a disabled person and making them uncomfortable; especially if they are forced to stand for a long period of time. Falk-Allen shared that where she lives, young people are more likely to help open doors for disabled people than people who are middle aged.
Older people who are disabled like to feel respected and that they are active participants in life. As a result, Falk-Allen suggested that friends and relatives can help them feel useful and included by asking them about their family history and the history of their lives. Seniors with disabilities also appreciate being asked for advice or taken them to a venue they enjoy. Disabled individuals also like it when friends and relatives watch a movie with them or just visit with them.
Caregivers
Falk-Allen said that 20% of women in the United States are currently caregivers; they not only care for their children but also their aging parents. She shared that it is particularly difficult for caregivers when their patients has dementia; that is when they consider moving their parent into an assisted living facility. It is also when caregivers become concerned about how to care for themselves while caregiving. Falk-Allen suggested looking into volunteer organizations where caregivers have volunteers shop for them. Volunteers can also fix something for lunch as they help take the pressure off caregivers for a while.
Caregivers tend to feel guilty if children aren’t available to help out as much as their parents would like. Falk-Allen added that caregivers may feel they cannot do anything outside of the home; caregivers may also refuse help from their church to clean their house to give them a short break from caregiving. She recommended that it is better sooner than later to begin caregiving in their home when the caregivers are in their 50s, 60s, or early 70s instead of 80s or 90s. It becomes more difficult for the parent to talk about moving. It is also difficult for a caregiver to envision the life they want for themselves. As a parent gets older, they may not have as much vision of where they want to live. Instead, they tend to want everything to remain the same with no changes. Falk-Allen recommended Mother Lode: Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver by Gretchen Staebler. The book details the challenges Staebler faced while caring for her mother who was in her 90s. In addition, Staebler wrote a blog supporting caregivers.
Discrimination: What It Is Like and How To Get Through It
Falk-Allen said being disabled when you are young limits the range of people who want to have a relationship with you. Because most able-bodied people would rather not have a relationship with someone with a disability, the person who is disabled begins to think they have a personality flaw; those who do not have a disability are hesitant to date people who don’t have a perfect body. As disabled people get older, they begin to think that their opinions don’t matter and that they’re not contributing to society. Falk-Allen emphasizes that disabled people should be treated as if they are intelligent; people with disabilities should be encouraged to participate in society. Whether they are 25 or 75, disabled people have the same feelings.
Appearance Matters
Falk-Allen noted that older people should be respected about different parts of their lives; they want to look nice when they leave the house. It matters to them as much as it did when they were younger. She shared that she was treated like a homeless person because she went to the pharmacy in her sweatpants and no makeup. It is assumed that people who are disabled are either homeless or impoverished. People with disabilities are also seen as a drag on society.
Makeup makes people feel better about how they look and more youthful, Falk-Allen shared. Wait staff tends to treat women who are elderly and disabled differently if they are not made up, seem older than their husband, or have a cane and walker. Falk-Allen said that anyone, whether disabled or not, should be able to express themselves. If women who are disabled have time to have someone help them apply their makeup and not rush to get ready to go out, it should not be a problem. If it makes a disabled person feel normal, then it should be OK. However, some disabled women may need help getting their makeup on properly and looking good in public more than others.
Accessible Places to Travel and Tips for Getting Around
The first half of No Spring Chicken: Stories and Advice from a Wild Handicapper on Aging and Disability is devoted to Falk-Allen’s tips and insights on accessible places to travel. Falk-Allen noted that reviewers of the book initially believed that disabled travelers needed to give up traveling but were encouraged to continue to travel. Travelers with disabilities were happy that it is still possible to travel, rent, or buy mobility scooters. She also encourages readers to not be embarrassed to get a wheelchair in airport; they should also feel free to rent or buy a sit-down scooter. Mobility scooters are great when going to museums; in addition, sit down scooters are also convenient when walking around and then getting on the scooter to go to the next area. Falk-Allen emphasized that traveling is not fun when you’re tired.
Mobility Scooters and Wheelchairs
Falk-Allen suggested that mobility scooters are useful in cities that require a lot of walking. She shared how she took a scooter to a conference center when she was working. At that time, she had the misconception that people who used scooters were overweight or lazy, but later realized they may have just had walking difficulty, COPD or other invisible disabilities. Falk-Allen said that she was much happier to have mobility scooters if walking is difficult. She said there was no reason to just walk if it was detrimental and there was a problem walking due to long distances; if it is easier to walk, then that is OK.
Falk-Allen suggests that manual wheelchairs, the ones with big wheels and footrests, are a lot of work unless you have strong shoulders. She suggests that a battery powered scooter be used if you are unable to find someone to push you on a manual wheelchair, which are also recommended if there are no hills. If someone is pushing you in a wheelchair, a manual wheelchair is recommended over a transfer chair with no footrests.
Falk-Allen notes that people should swallow their pride and use a wheelchair as needed, but not always. Travel is more accessible if manual wheelchairs are used sparingly. Wheelchairs with gears in wheels make it easier to use regardless of a passenger’s weight, especially if they are going up a ramp; but, if the disabled person in a manual wheelchair is heavier than the one pushing the wheelchair, it is more difficult going up a ramp.
Why Dementia Patients Should Not Use Electric Scooters
Falk-Allen suggested that people with dementia should not use electric scooters; dementia patients don’t always have a sense of balance and may tip over in the scooter. There are some dementia patients who can travel if they can walk easily and have someone watching them. But, as dementia progresses, it is harder to travel; therefore, she highly recommends that people with disabilities should travel while they are well enough.
Handicap Accessibility and Challenges Abroad
Falk-Allen has been all over the world. In addition to most of the United States, she has been to Europe, Mexico, Canada, and the Middle East. She found that travel in the U.S. is best because of the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA). Some American cities Falk-Allen enjoyed traveling in included Seattle, WA, Vancouver, BC, and New Orleans; there is a lot to do in those cities and transportation for travelers with disabilities is good. Unfortunately, she found that some countries are not as well set up for travelers with disabilities; however, many are improving. The trails in national parks are excellent for people with disabilities to get around because they have good accessible pathways. The US tends to have more paved pathways and ramps than other countries. However, Falk-Allen added that the United Kingdom is making an effort to make pathways and ramps more accessible.
The UK is great about helping disabled passengers board trains. Falk-Allen noted that the UK will set up a foldable ramp immediately to help you board a train when you have a scooter, which she said was better than in the US; it is recommended that travelers call ahead if you need a ramp to board a train. This way, the ramp will be ready when you arrive at your destination. Although the UK is better than France for accommodating disabled travelers, France is trying to help disabled passengers travel safely; but, traveling in France is much better for disabled travelers than it was 20 years ago.
Falk-Allen said flat areas are much better for disabled travelers than hilly ones. She advised that traveling anywhere that includes a lot of steps is not a good choice for disabled people who find it difficult to walk long distances.
Importance of Traveling with an International Calling Plan
Falk-Allen suggested that an international calling plan is a must when traveling outside the US. It is easier to call to have someone pick you up in areas where no transportation is readily available. Falk-Allen said that she loved traveling in New York City and Paris because there are lots of taxis and good metro systems (which are fine if you can walk up and down stairs); however, she also recommends having a cell phone with international access if you get stuck in a remote area; it is much easier to call a cab to your hotel if necessary if you have the hotel’s number on hand.
What to Look for in ADA Rooms
Falk-Allen advised that an ADA hotel room should be requested if a wheelchair is used. She also suggested the hotel should be called ahead of time to make sure an ADA room is available. In addition, Falk-Allen also recommended that a room close to the elevators that is NOT an ADA ROOM be requested if you don’t use a wheelchair but still have difficulty walking.
ADA rooms, Falk-Allen noted, have less furniture and low closet poles; the room may be so sparse that it may not suit you for the duration of your stay. ADA rooms are also not recommended for someone who does not use a wheelchair and has long coats or dresses. Falk-Allen added that ADA rooms also have a roll-in shower. So, while the wheelchair may help you get in the shower, there is also a danger of slipping and falling in the bathroom; subsequently. It would be better for reserve a room where they can step into a tub where the water stays in. Falk-Allen suggests that the hotel be called the day before your arrival to make sure you get the room you requested.
Checking for Restaurants Near Hotel Rooms
Falk-Allen advised that a disabled traveler make sure there is a restaurant close to the hotel if walking is difficult; this is especially important if the hotel doesn’t have a restaurant. It is also advisable to check this out in advance so you don’t have to walk several blocks to have breakfast.
What to Do If You Don’t Get the Hotel Room You Want
Falk-Allen advised if you arrive and don’t have the room you requested, quietly ask to be given some type of compensation. This can be done through a discount or a room upgrade without paying extra. ADA legally requires a hotel to make accommodations for guests with disabilities. If you request a room and find it was not given to you upon arrival, you can ask the hotel to see what they can do to help make up for not getting the room that was specifically requested ahead of time.
Overcoming Childhood Trauma
Falk-Allen shared that she did a great deal of therapy. She shared it was as much about her father’s death when she was a child as it was about having polio and a paralyzed leg for which she was hospitalized for six months at age 3. Her father was the parent she bonded with.
Psychotherapy
Falk-Allen revealed that therapy was very important to her; subsidies are available if you can’t afford mental health therapy. Therapy made a huge difference in her life; she had a chip on her shoulder when she was growing up because she was treated differently than other children. She was traumatized by her father’s death at a young age; it was exacerbated because she had a lifetime disability. As a result of her disability issues and losing her father at a young age, her life’s emphasis was on the importance of a relationship with men.
Support Groups
Support groups helped her sort out issues in her family of origin. In addition to losing her father as a small child, Falk-Allen realized she was co-dependent due to her mother’s psychological issues and alcoholism in her family. Subsequently, she attended a couple of Adult Children of Alcoholics programs; they were invaluable because they helped her get through her issues. Falk-Allen emphasized that support groups are not pity parties; instead, they were very helpful because she had a safe place to talk about what was important to her. While there was some dark humor in the support groups, it was OK because it helped her cope with life.
Support groups also helped Falk-Allen develop compassion; eventually, she realized she was doing the same things the other participants were doing. She also had some of the same issues in her relationships other group members were having. She also realized she kept doing the same things as others. Falk-Allen realized that she had the same shortcomings as everyone else in the group, and that was Ok. Some people do not like to share about their personal lives with strangers, but it can be beneficial to speak of difficulties with people who are not in your immediate social group or family; the anonymity can be beneficial. However, support groups are free because it is composed of people who like to talk and is non-threatening. Falk-Allen said support groups are beneficial for those who choose to participate in them.
Falk-Allen has participated in support groups for years. She currently belongs to two women’s groups; they listen to each other with compassion and can tell each other anything. Falk-Allen also facilitates a polio support group; members can freely discuss their disability issues. She was also in a breast cancer support group for a couple of years while she was going through cancer treatment and recovery. Falk-Allen said sometimes the issues people with disabilities face wear out their families. But there are times that sometimes their families don’t understand how difficult it is to live with a disability; families of people with disabilities also don’t know how to adapt to having new physical challenges.
Turning a Negative into a Positive
Falk-Allen said that, for the most part, we “are not fully cooked until we die”. Consequently, there are many psychological or emotional issues we need to deal with throughout our lives. However, we don’t have to go through these issues alone. Falk-Allen noted being honest with others about the challenges we face and seeking the right kind of support will make them easier to bear.
Falk-Allen tries to turn attention to what is good in her life when she is feeling troubled. She suggests sitting in a garden or watching a funny movie. In addition, she encourages people to keep looking out the window, literally or metaphorically, to the next good thing that happens in your life.
Meditation and Childhood into Adulthood
As Falk-Allen mentioned earlier, meditation has been helpful to her from an early age. Meditation was particularly helpful because she felt she had to be her own parent psychologically when she was younger due to losing her father when she was young and her mother’s too strict discipline.
As a result, Falk-Allen meditated daily for about a year or two in her 40s, which she found very beneficial. She also said meditation enabled her to imagine herself as both a child and an adult who loves her childhood self. Falk-Allen found that people hold themselves in their imagination and tell the child part of themselves that they will always care for and be there for that little child.
Conclusion
Falk-Allen concluded the interview with a timely quote:
If you think your life is too hard, or you are too lonely or too sad, remember you are not being eaten by a tiger. I grew up in India and this has happened to many people.
Meditation teacher who was born in India.
Falk-Allen tries to remember to say to herself when things get really tough, “I am NOT being eaten by a tiger”. Or, despite the challenges you face in your life, other people have it much worse, and yet they manage to survive and perhaps even thrive.
Additional Information….
There is much more to Falk-Allen’s story than the information presented above. For example, she offers exercise tips for back pain and yoga and core exercises, as well as stretching exercises. The book includes a chapter on “Healing Through Water Therapy” for readers who have access to a pool.
The following passage outlines how Falk-Allen learned to get through life despite a bout with polio at age three. She shows the reader through both of the books she has written that it is possible to enjoy life, even if they are living with a disability. Falk-Allen is stronger and able to help other disabled people because of her story.
About the Author
Born in Los Angeles and having lived nearly all of her life in northern California, Francine Falk-Allen had polio in 1951 at age 3, was hospitalized for 6 months, and lived most of her life as a handicapped person trying to be a “normie.”
Despite her partially-paralyzed leg and severe limp, Francine has traveled the world. She also appeared in the Nobel Prize/PBS documentary, “The War Against Microbes,” as the only representative of a disease now eradicated by a vaccine.
Her first book, Not a Poster Child: Living Well with a Disability—A Memoir, won gold and silver awards and was on several best books lists in 2018 and 2019. Her newest book, No Spring Chicken: Stories and Advice from a Wild Handicapper on Aging and Disability, has also received the Kirkus star, given to only 10% of the several thousands of books reviewed in Kirkus Reviews annually. No Spring Chicken was a finalist for Foreword Reviews’ Indie Book Awards in 2021. She is currently writing a historical novel based on early twentieth century family history.
Francine resides in Marin County with her husband and spends a significant amount of time managing the effects of post-polio. She also facilitates a polio survivors’ group, as well as a writing group, Just Write Marin County, and volunteers on the City of San Rafael’s ADA Accessibility Committee. She loves the outdoors, swimming, gardening, British tea, and a little champagne now and then.
You can also find out about more about Francine’s life and work in https://FrancineFalk-Allen.com and www.facebook.com/FrancineFalkAllenAuthor.