The following is a guest article from Andrea Gibbs, who is a blog contributor for Serenity Senior Care.  It is reprinted with permission. 

Image: Media iStock

Introduction

Aging is a scary and challenging time. The aging process can be complex for anyone, but it’s even more difficult for those who have loved ones with mental health conditions. At the age of 60, many people begin to experience changes that could lead to an illness, especially with the threat of dementia, a form of impairment that may start in the brain, but affects the way a person thinks, talks, and takes care of themselves. 

Also, they are more exposed to stress and other health problems. They can feel lonely and distressed, which may lead to a decline in their mental health. During the COVID-19 pandemic, many people lacked social support, which could lead to mental health issues. A decline in mental health can cause a decrease in physical health, leading to physical disabilities and diseases.

Reasons for Mental Health Decline of your Aging Loved Ones

As a caregiver, knowing why your loved one’s mental health declines and how you can help is an excellent way to better deal with the situation.

Aging

As we age, the incidence of dementia increases. People diagnosed with dementia lose their alertness and ability to think normally. The symptoms usually start at the age of 60 and continue to increase until 80 years old. At this point, people may experience memory loss and get confused easily, making them lose the ability to focus and think clearly. You can see that it is a scary event that most people are not prepared for. 

Isolation

Isolation is a very common reason why people experience mental health decline. As a caregiver, you understand that your loved one may get confused and forget things easily, and it could be hard for them to communicate appropriately with others. They may avoid going out of the house and isolate themselves from other people because they don’t want their condition to worsen. Therefore, this isolation makes your loved one lose their ability to socialize and communicate with others. This leads to:

• Depression: This is more likely the reason why they isolate themselves. Your loved ones may experience depression if they feel that they are useless. This leads them to feel hopeless and helpless.  Even though depression is a common condition for many people, it can cause severe emotional distress, leading to poor socialization and even despair.

• Social anxiety: Your loved one may be afraid of going out because they don’t want to be judged by others and make a fool out of themselves. The main cause of this is being negative and self-conscious.  This leads to a decline in your loved one’s self-esteem, which causes them to avoid socializing.

• Embarrassment: If your loved one is not in good condition, they may get embarrassed and depend on you to deal with their problems. This will make them increase the chances of isolation. They might feel very guilty about their condition and don’t want other people to know that their condition is declining.

• Fear: Your loved ones may feel that they won’t be able to handle the change in their mental health condition, making them afraid. They are scared that they will not be able to find a solution to the problem, which will make them feel like a burden to their family. They may also fear that it’s hopeless and don’t have time to get better.

Stressful Experiences

During aging and illness, your loved one can experience stressful events that might contribute to their mental health decline. These stressful events can be: 

• Pressure to take care of yourself: If your loved one is experiencing a long-term illness, they will experience more anxiety in their life. They might feel like they cannot take care of themselves and rely on you too much. Sometimes this can be hard for you if they are taking too much responsibility on themselves, and you feel like you’re not doing enough. Additionally, they are under much pressure for not being able to care for themselves and their loved ones, which leads to feelings of guilty and frustration.

• Family issues: Family issues can be stressful for your loved ones, eventually leading to a decline their mental health. These issues can range from simple arguments to serious things like child abuse or divorce. Whatever it is, it causes emotional distress. 

• Financial problems: These stressors will cause your loved one to lose their ability to think, focus on things, and do daily chores that you need them to do. 

How To Approach Your Aging Loved One About Their Declining Mental Health Condition

Your aging loved ones need your support, love, and attention to help them get better. You need to find ways how you can help your aging loved one.

Start the discussion as early as possible

Talking about mental health issues with your loved ones can be hard and uncomfortable. However, getting the conversation started is essential to get the ball rolling. You should discuss the problem and discuss what you can do to help them out of the situation. This will help them feel more valuable in your eyes and be more motivated to get better. Here’s how you start the discussion:

• Be empathetic: Caregivers should show empathy and understanding when communicating with their elderly loved ones. They should understand that they feel the way they are because of their illness, and you do not accuse them or let them feel judged by your words or actions. Instead, you encourage them, support them, and help them see all the good things in life.

• Develop good communication skills: You should understand what your loved one wants to say and know how to relay it back. You should be able to give them a solution to their problems and try your best to solve the problems by using better communication skills like active listening, speaking clearly in a calm manner, and using open body language.

Include them in the decision-making process

Your aging loved ones may not be able to make decisions for themselves, and you need to be the one who decides what they need. Here’s how you can include them in the decision-making process.

• Ask and pose questions: You can ask your loved ones about their needs and wants. Help them develop a solution for their problems by asking how they want things to be done.

• Approach calmly: When you talk to your loved ones, try to approach them calmly and speak clearly and only when necessary. You can bring up the issue in an open manner, such as:

“I know that you want to feel better and be more motivated, but I can tell that you do not have enough energy to keep up with things. We need some help so let’s come up with a solution together.”

• Make them feel valued: You should try to make your loved ones feel important and cared for. This will also encourage them to keep talking in the same manner. 

Be positive

Being positive is one of the most important steps in communicating with your aging loved one and improving their mental health. You should avoid negative conversations by saying, “I know you feel unhappy, but this isn’t true. You should try to be more positive.” This can cause relief and comfort to your loved ones and help them feel better. Here’s how you can be positive:

• Try to keep perspective: if your loved one is having a difficult time with something, avoid focusing on the negative aspects of the situation. Instead, find good things about their condition and add some positivity to their mind. 

• Be optimistic: Try to be positive and think of the best possible solution for your ailing loved one. If you only think of all the wrong things, it will be impossible to reach the best solution. Think of how you can make your loved ones feel better, say positive things to them, and give them what they need. You can also bring up the good aspects when you talk with them. 

• Smile: When you talk to your loved ones, try to smile and look them in the eyes. This will make them feel more comfortable, and they will feel more motivated. It also gives them a sense of security. 

Provide support

Your loved one might need some help, and you should provide them with the support they need to become more motivated and keep them focused. 

• Give practical solutions: You can help your aging loved ones see all the good aspects of their situation and give them answers by offering practical solutions to their problems. Instead of saying, “I can’t ever get out of bed,” you can encourage them by saying things such as “you can walk downstairs. You need to push the button on the elevator and stay in your room for one hour. Then go downstairs, watch some TV, and it will get better.”

• Help them with their goals: You should also help your loved ones set goals for themselves and help them make plans to achieve their goals. You can also make them feel motivated by actively participating in their goals and giving them positive feedback when they reach a goal. Your loved ones will feel motivated to keep going and complete the goals you helped them set. You can do this by using the following lines:

“I’m so proud of you for reaching your goal. Keep going, and there is still more to do.”

“You are making great progress. Try to stay focused.”

Conclusion

Communication is the key to a successful and healthy relationship with your aging loved ones. Keeping an open dialogue with them will help them feel more loved and cared for by you and improve their mental health. It will also help them live a better life by improving their social relationships and making them more motivated. You should follow the above steps and improve your communication skills with your loved ones. It will make them feel better, increase their mental health, and make them more active in their daily lives.

Author Bio

Andrea Gibbs is the Content Manager at SpringHive Web Agency, a company that offers web design services, maintenance, and Internet marketing. She specializes in content marketing, social media, and SEO. She also serves as a blog contributor at Serenity Senior Care. She’s an avid personal development enthusiast and an expert in the field of health and fitness. When she’s not writing she can be found running hills or hiking trails, rooting for her favorite team (the Pittsburgh Steelers), or watching a good Netflix series.