Photo Credit: Pexels.com
The following article is a guest article from Annabelle Harris. She is a blogger who uses elders.center as a platform to share helpful tips and advice for seniors. It is used with permission.
Introduction
Aging parents may need extra support in daily life, from help with errands like cooking and cleaning to medical care. Navigating the waters when one parent needs assistance and the other can’t be tricky. As an adult child, you can help your loved ones chart the path forward in a way that ensures everybody’s happiness.
The guide below explains what steps to take to ensure your parent who needs care gets the assistance they need, while your other parent remains comfortable.
Discuss nursing care options and plan together
Bringing up the topic of assisted living can be challenging, especially if your parents have been largely independent until now. Aging Care recommends using positive language and highlighting the benefits, such as less stress and easier day-to-day life. Avoid potentially scary language like “facility” or “institution.” Say “community” instead.
Further, make the conversation a two-way street. Invite your parents to voice their opinions and preferences on how and where they want to live. This is ultimately a family decision and you want to reach an agreement on living arrangements that everyone is comfortable with.
Find a fitting nursing home based on your parent’s needs
Once you’ve opened the door to talking about nursing care, you can start discussing details. First, consider what type of care your loved one needs. For example, if they are experiencing symptoms of dementia or Alzheimer’s disease, a memory care facility is necessary. If they need support for physical ailments, a regular nursing care community is sufficient.
Beyond the basics, talk to your parents about what will make their nursing home stay more comfortable, from having a garden to enjoying social activities. Consider visiting communities together to get a feel for the environment and to ensure you are both going to be content with the results.
Plan how to finance the nursing home care
You and your parents will also have to consider how to finance the nursing care. The annual cost of a semi-private room can be about $93,075 on average, according to Senior Living. If the other parent is going to leave the family home and downsize to a smaller property to live alone, the sale of the house can help pay for the nursing care expenses.
If you go this route, make sure to calculate the property value correctly. Redfin explains that home equity is calculated by subtracting what you still owe on your mortgage from the house’s current market value.
Downsize the family home to prepare for the move
Once you have a nursing home chosen for one parent and a smaller house or apartment for the other, you can take the big step of downsizing the family home. This can be an emotional experience, so you will likely have to help your elderly loved ones through the process. Downsizing feels like a complicated process, but it can really simplify life in the long run.
Plan on helping your senior loved one as much as possible. Try leaving at least 90 days for decluttering and packing. Next, focus on selling or donating unneeded items. You can save space by digitizing goods like videos and family photos. If your parents can’t part with something, put it in storage.
Remain patient and seek support
Helping elderly parents transition to this next phase can be taxing for all involved. Remain patient. It’s best to keep calm when dealing with aging parents. Remember that memory tends to get worse with age, for example, and be understanding of forgetfulness.
Further, understand that this process is difficult for your parents, too. Leaving a family home can inspire grief and even depression for some seniors.
Helping one parent move to nursing home care and another one downsize is a lot. Take care of yourself throughout the process and get practical and emotional help as needed.
For more content like this, check out the Living Through Grief After 60 blog.
