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The Pain of Dependency on Prescription Painkillers
I interviewed Fran about her husband Mark’s determination to live with his worsening back pain for nearly 40 years. He became dependent on prescription drugs as a result. Fran’s faith in God helped her get through the pain of Mark’s struggles with chronic back pain. Dependency on prescription painkillers doesn’t just have an emotional impact on the person who becomes dependent on them. It also has an impact on their loved ones. Fran emphasized that Mark did not have an addictive personality.
From Lamp to My Feet | Frances Smith, Author | Frances Smith, Author, In the pain of life, God is there.
God never promises us a sweeping floodlight that will show us the whole picture, but He does promise us a lamp to our feet so we can see the next step. We have to learn to trust Him to do that, and take the next step on faith.
How Fran and Mark Met
Fran and Mark met in 1986 on a beach in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. That beach was a special place for Mark. The only reason he approached Fran was because she was asleep on the beach. Mark noticed she was getting sunburned. She remembers she was in a lot of pain. Fran didn’t notice the pain because Mark was charismatic. Mark took out aloe and started spreading the gel on her legs. Fran and her friend left the beach. Mark “didn’t get her name, her phone number, or her college”. Mark and Fran did not meet again until 2011. In the meantime, Mark and Fran had both married and started their families.
The Beginning of Mark’s Back Problems
Mark’s back was injured while riding a mechanical bull in Myrtle Beach in 1980. He injured his back by staying on the bull, leading to compression injuries. Mark had ongoing disk issues and degenerative disc disease. His back pain was always there, but he learned to live with it.
When Mark was working on a friend’s sprinkler system, it was “exactly the type of work he wasn’t supposed to do, but he couldn’t worry about that…” because he…”had to eat”. Mark needed the work despite his aching back. The money Mark was making working in the lumber business with his father and uncle was good, even though his back was “getting worse and worse. Fran wrote, “Either God would work a miracle, or he would need surgery with a long recovery time, or he would become unable to work at all”, Fran wrote. Fran said Mark eventually had to apply for disability. He finally got disability a successful hearing.
Mark was finally able to have back surgery in August 1997. Mark no longer had the “constant, nagging, gnawing pain in his lower back. Fran wrote as the fusion solidified following scans as he recovered. Mark realized that “…if he was careful, he could do anything he wanted.” Mark was warned by his doctor about his degenerative disc disease. The doctor’s warnings “faded away and became someday…he might have more back issues, but not right now. And it felt wonderful”. Mark fell during a family trip many years later. He injured his back, and, the pain started again.
Mark’s Back Problems Following His Accident
Following the surgery, Mark’s back deteriorated for the rest of his life. It was also the beginning of Mark’s prescription drug abuse. Fran said that Mark’s spine was bone on bone without a cushion between the bones. This made his back more painful. From 1997 until Mark’s death in 2018, he had 5 surgeries and 4 fusions. Fran added that the last surgery didn’t help alleviate his pain.
It was after that last surgery that Fran wrote in the book that the surgeon told her Mark would be in pain because his neck would “think” it was broken. Mark was not told about this. As Mark’s recovery continued, Fran wrote that while he was told “…that muscle relaxers would be his best friends…”. Around that time, they were told the strength of the pain killers needed to be reduced due to stricter opioid laws. Mark’s longtime neurologist told him he could no longer be his pain doctor.
How Did Mark’s Back Problems Limit His Activities?
After Mark had a neck fusion surgery in 2013, he was unable to do the activities he wanted. His range of motion became limited. He was unable to golf due to middle back pain. Fran would have to help him bait and remove fish when they went fishing because Mark couldn’t do it himself. The more pain Mark was in, the less he was able to do the activities he loved.
Fran said Mark did his best to hide his pain. Mark was also ashamed because he was unable to do things for himself. Fran recalled Mark tried to help her put her house on the market. She said that Mark’s back started to hurt when he did too much. Mark thought he had just pulled a muscle, Eventually Mark and Fran were offered the opportunity to teach Sunday school classes. Mark was honest with the head of the school about his health problems. He said Fran would be his back-up if needed.
When Fran and Mark went to Alaska, she “had managed to carefully schedule their activities so that Mark could rest in the afternoons”. The highlight of their trip to Alaska was a cruise with Dr. Charles Stanley. Dr. Stanley inspired Mark to go into ministry during a youth retreat. The retreat was during a mission trip to Alaska. Mark remained there for one year.
How Mark’s Personality Began to Change
Fran said when Mark combined alcohol and pain medication, it was a “perfect storm”. Alcohol changed Mark’s personality. She shared that Mark became mean when he was drinking. Fran remembered the night they were about to go to bed when Mark, who had wine and had taken Ambien, took their Infiniti out for a drive and wrecked it. Fran wrote that she got in the car in an attempt to stop him. Mark spent the night in jail after he failed a sobriety test. She told the police that Mark had wine and had taken a sleeping pill before they left. Mark was sober when Fran bailed him out. But instead of being remorseful, he was angry at her. Mark told Fran his back was “killing him”.
Today, it is rare that Fran will have a drink. She emphasized that alcohol is not a sin except when it is abused. Sadly, Mark abused alcohol when he mixed it with Ambien and other drugs. Fran also shared that she was always unsure what to tell him once the Ambien wore off. She knew that Mark would never hurt her feelings because it would upset him if he knew he hurt her. Fran knew without a doubt that Mark loved her.
Events that Led to Mark’s Suicide
Mark and Fran had planned to attend a convention in 2018. They had waited a year for this convention. His doctor had given him trigger point injections before they left. Fran recalled Mark had been prescribed steroids and Lyrica before they left . Mark, Fran remembered, was in deep pain. She thought it was likely due to deep nerve root pain. The steroids, Fran said, made him feel like there were “ants under his skin”. Fran had found a hotel across the street from the convention for the week so Mark could rest and go to the convention when he felt better.
Mark said he needed to go home because the pain wasn’t going away. He started drinking again when he returned home. Fran said that alcohol was a way to blur Mark’s pain. The night before Mark committed suicide, Fran drove home and found a half empty box of wine in their closet. Fran found Mark on “…on the floor in the closet, punching out sleeping pills from a blister pack.” Mark took about 20 pills and went to bed.
When Fran went to him, Mark grabbed her arms violently. Fran began to pray for help. She heard the voice in her heart tell her to run and get out now. Fran found Mark dead four days later. Pain pills, steroids, and Lyrica were found in Mark’s system when he died.
Aftermath of Mark’s Suicide
Fran said that people never get over the grief of finding a loved one dead. She said that only by the grace of God she was able to plan the funeral. Fran shared she is not sure how anyone can get over anything in life without faith. She believes that anyone who thinks that people who commit suicide don’t go to heaven don’t know the message of the Gospel. The sins of believers are forgiven past, present and future.
Fran’s Grief
Fran was both mad and sad when she found Mark’s body. She realized later that Mark took his life while she was returning to their hotel room. Two years later, Fran is not completely OK. She added she will she never be completely OK. Mark will always be in her heart and she will miss him the rest of her life.
Fran called their pastor, who is also the police chaplain, when she found Mark’s body. Fran continued to mourn Mark as she called her children and family. The pastor called Mark’s family and his sons.
Mark’s Funeral
Fran wanted to keep Mark’s funeral a celebration of his life. Mark’s suicide was addressed at the funeral, with Fran’s knowledge and approval. Their pastor was angry because, in his opinion, suicide was the most selfish thing anyone can do.
Fran, Mark’s youngest son, and his pastor were the only ones who knew about Mark’s struggles with pain. The speaker at the funeral said that, for Mark, it was “…a constant effort to manage the pain and the surgeries and the medications and the side effects of the medications”. Everyone was in shock about the struggles Mark had gone through.
Why Few People Knew About Mark’s Pain
Mark felt he would be perceived as weak instead of manly if he revealed to anyone how much pain he was really in. For Mark, pain “was a sign of weakness, and this was intolerable for a manly man”. Mark wanted to be seen as strong instead of being in constant pain.
Fran’s Thoughts About Mark’s Prescription Abuse
From the Afterword of Fran’s book:
Mark Smith was a wonderful man who loved the Lord more than anything…Mark was in pain, and when people are in pain, they do and say things they would not do and say otherwise, especially to the people who love them most. When a person is in long-term, chronic pain, the issues are multiplied. Now you have the possibility of addiction, depression, and worse…Stiff laws have been enacted to keep opioids out of the hands of abusers, and that’s all well and good, but what about the people who really, honestly, need the medication? The ones who aren’t addicted or misusing it? The ones who are sincerely in terrible pain? Doctors shouldn’t have their hands tied from responsibly prescribing pain medication to those people.
Fran’s Life Today
Fran is working on a Master of Arts in English at Clemson University, where she is a graduate teaching assistant and expects to earn her degree in May 2022. She is ecstatic about being at Clemson, which she has always considered to be her “happy place”. She already holds a Master of Arts in Teaching ( University of South Carolina) and a Bachelor of Arts in English, with an emphasis in writing (Columbia College).
Fran continues to receive love and support from her family, spending as much time as possible with her three children, her parents, and her sister. They especially love attending Clemson sporting events. Fran has attended two Clemson national championship games with one of her sons, traveling to Santa Clara, California, in 2019 to watch their beloved Tigers win the title. The whole family has been spared from Covid-19.
Further Information
Lamp to My Feet (Ordinary Man Trilogy)
About The Author
From Meet Frances | Frances Smith, Author | Frances Smith, Author, In the pain of life, God is there.
Frances Smith has spent her professional career in public relations, journalism and communications. Besides writing her own work, she is a professional editor and ghostwriter. She holds a Bachelor of Arts degree in English and a Master of Arts degree in English education.
In 2013, Frances accepted God’s call to write full-time. Her first book, Cleft of the Rock, is the story of the year Mark spent as a missionary in Nome, Alaska, when he was 19 years old. Her second book, Thorn in the Flesh, tells of the devastating injury Mark suffered on a routine beach trip with his youth group, and how he consciously allowed God to use him even in spite of the horrendous pain.
Lamp to My Feet, Frances’s third book, completes the Ordinary Man trilogy. Mark makes bad choices – as we all do – and has to deal with the consequences. At the same time, Fran Chapman begins a journey of her own, a journey that will ultimately connect her life with Mark’s. Their journeys take them through decades of highs and lows until they find each other and begin to determine God’s purpose for them.
