Some members of my family are now experiencing empty nest syndrome. One sister who raised children who are now in their 30s recently turned 60; my brother and sister who are now in their 50s with children who are now young adults are also experiencing empty nest syndrome.
Parents typically spend at least 18 years raising their children; for mothers, that includes carrying their babies in the womb. Stay at home mothers spend that time feeding them, putting them to sleep, breaking up sibling fights,and taking them to the doctor and dentists. They are the ones who are generally tasked with picking up with children from school; stay at home mothers are also tasked with picking up their children if they are sick. Mothers who work (and fathers) also are responsible for taking their children to medical and dental appointments as well.
After children graduate from college, there is always the possibility they may return home temporarily; parents often want their children to find a job and live independently. My mother has told me that mothers raise their children to be independently of their parents. After spending 18 years raising children, whether they worked outside the home or not, mothers may begin to feel out of sorts, believing that “everyone is leaving me” after their children leave home to work or attend college. Mothers who have been out of the work force for several years may feel free to return to work once their youngest child is gone; mothers who took care of children full time may see work as a way to regain their confidence in themselves. They may begin to believe that there is more to them than merely raising children.
Seniors who start to feel lonely after their children leave home can keep in touch with their children; it may be easier if parents had a loving relationship with their children, and each other, while their children were in their formative years. If children lived with a single mother with a succession of relationships or witnessed a bitter divorce between their parents while they were growing up, children may be so anxious to leave a toxic home environment that a relationship with one or both parents may be strained at best or nonexistent at worst. Today, in addition to phone calls, children and parents can text or email each other regularly; if the children were raised in a loving family despite the challenges of raising children from infancy to adolescence, senior parents can look forward to seeing their children more often than just the occasional weekend home from school, holidays, and vacations. When children begin to marry, the family will begin to include spouses and grandchildren. The lives of senior parents, while changed, will also be enriched because of these changes.
Psychology Today reported in 2019 that it takes time to for seniors to begin to reshape their identity from the parent of a child to the parent of a young adult; it is also recommended that seniors begin to form social relationships outside the family and begin to take care of themselves by getting enough rest, a healthy diet, exercise and downtime. Empty Nest, Sexy House: To support parents to re-create their life after Empty Nest Syndrome
Seniors suffering from empty nest syndrome who take the opportunity to reinvent themselves, and begin to take care of themselves physically and psychologically, will begin to feel proud that they raised children who are independent and self-sufficient adults. They will also begin to develop a bond with their children, and grandchildren that will continue to evolve throughout their lives.
Although the possibility of taking care of their parents as they grow older is always a possibility, the relationship seniors have with their children will continue to enrich the lives of parent and children alike. Mothers (and fathers) will reach their senior years as proud parents who have grown because they raised their children into responsible and caring adults. Seniors will be proud that they succeeded in succeeding at parenthood, the most noble calling of all.
